--Now There's the SKY--

Wow... who knew that I'd be posting so frequently?! So here's the deal: this could, perhaps should be one of those mass emails that we love to send (sweet for still keeping in touch... I'm loving this guys!). This will probably be the most 'serious/perhaps mature' blog thing I've ever written... so for that creepy man from Dallas using his stolen computer in his trailer who Nicole warned us about, go polish your guns... and know that I may not have a gun..but my friend Nicole does, and she's a prairie girl!

Okay...for serious now. I think I've learnt many a lessons recently.

I apologize for making judgements. It will make sense after I explain... and to the one person who I feel like I've been unconsciously judging since the beginning of our friendship...eek... I'm an immature jerk who just woke up to a lot of things.

I feel like what I've learnt... I've learnt before but obviously didn't quite get it. I love God for being so persistent..and for disciplining us. I feel like I just got a kick in the shins...and I am most appreciative of it!

I've been putting relationships in boxes almost. I've been provided these 'suggestions' which I now see as rules almost...in terms of behaviour around people of the opposite sex. They are good things to keep in mind... I just have a question: How can you tell if the person who you are interested in is 'right behind you..or beside you as you keep your eyes set straight on God'? I took this all wrong. I took this as someone who not only has the same mission statement as I do... but someone who has the same vision as C4C does. With this and other things... I've realized how I've put C4C's mission above the one that God put on my heart earlier this summer. I've been comparing everything to C4C and have been questioning other organizations in terms of how people are growing within them.
I realize now that I would feel like I wasn't really doing anything..or that God wasn't using me if I wasn't going out sharing or essentially doing anything C4C-related. I recently learnt that God will use me in so many other areas...and has been ... which is exciting!
I lost grip of my boundaries with C4C... and I feel like I need to take a step back and get back on track with my relationship with God first and foremost. I got overwhelmed and busy doing ministry oriented things... that my personal time with God lacked... and my stillness to listen to God slacked. In return, I found myself seeking other people's advice for issues...and relationships. Not that this is bad... but FIRST... I should be seeking God and listening to God. I realized that these 'suggested ways of behaviour' can't define a relationship... and in turn I feel a bit like I've been judged for certain behaviour in these past couple of years... stupid little things really. After feeling like 'oh crap... i guess it was WRONG to share so much with someone'... I felt guilty and wanted to abide by all these 'rules' which would then equate to the most God-glorifying, Christ-centered relationship in existence. How foolish to think such a thing. People are people... not squares of a Rubiks cube that will fall into the perfect position after doing the special 'rubiks cube solving moves'.

So that whole thing was a mix of struggles with C4C combined with realizations of how people work...or moreso...how people are unpredictable, different, and uniquely made! I hope that made some sort of sense...

Despite my frustrations with C4C sometimes (mostly because of my inability to set boundaries with my involvement with it)... I can't stop praising God for who He is, for His promises and how He keeps them, and for His true love. I can't stop thanking God for C4C and how much it has challenged me in all areas of my walk with Him. He is my rock.

Peace and Love.