When the phone doesn't ring
A few weeks ago, my husband and I had a few days off of school and so we went on another little motorbike trip towards the coast. It rained a lot (it is rainy season after all), which forced us to rest and read under the covered balcony of the tree-house bungalow we were staying in. I enjoyed being around so many large mango trees, walking on grass, being next to a large river, and enjoying the peace and quiet out-of-city experience. But I wan't content.
I don't know how to hide my emotions, so Colin asked me:
I wanted someone to call me. To ask me how I was doing. To listen to my response. To ask about my life in Cambodia. I still want that. I want my phone to ring and for someone to ask a few questions and just listen.
Last week, I was out for breakfast with a new friend of mine and we talked about this. We agreed how awkward and needy it would be to ask someone to care for you. We just don't do that sort of thing. We're all busy, we all have emotional needs, we all want to be cared for, and we don't have time to care for other people's needs as well as our own. It's selfish. It's weird. It's vulnerable. It's humility.
It's not easy moving away from everything that is familiar. From friends. From family. From jobs. From food. From hobbies. Some might say "but you chose to move to Cambodia, you chose this for your life." They are correct. God led me here. I chose to be obedient and follow. Even though this is where God has placed me and even though I'm excited about being here, it's still hard. It doesn't matter how strong and clear God's call is in your life, it will never be easy or comfortable to leave your home and the familiar and be a foreigner in another land.
I never expected it to be easy. But for some reason, I had the expectation that I would be able to deal with all the change and new lifestyle on my own and with the few team members we came with.
Some people have been so kind to ask us for our mailing address and expressed a desire to send us a package. The greatest gift we could receive right now is for someone to ask how how we are. A listening ear. A phone call. We want the phone to ring!
I don't know how to hide my emotions, so Colin asked me:
"if you could do anything right now or be anywhere, what would you do and where would you want to be?"I thought about it for a second and then realized that all I was longing for was for someone to ask me the most overly-used 3-word question: How are you?
I wanted someone to call me. To ask me how I was doing. To listen to my response. To ask about my life in Cambodia. I still want that. I want my phone to ring and for someone to ask a few questions and just listen.
Last week, I was out for breakfast with a new friend of mine and we talked about this. We agreed how awkward and needy it would be to ask someone to care for you. We just don't do that sort of thing. We're all busy, we all have emotional needs, we all want to be cared for, and we don't have time to care for other people's needs as well as our own. It's selfish. It's weird. It's vulnerable. It's humility.
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| The river near Kampot, our out-of-city getaway |
I never expected it to be easy. But for some reason, I had the expectation that I would be able to deal with all the change and new lifestyle on my own and with the few team members we came with.
Some people have been so kind to ask us for our mailing address and expressed a desire to send us a package. The greatest gift we could receive right now is for someone to ask how how we are. A listening ear. A phone call. We want the phone to ring!
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